Barbie

Last Updated: 10/05/2000 05:07 PM

This is a hoax. As usual these hoaxes are targeted at those that are not yet cynical enough ;-) There is no such promotion, and no such way to track e-mail (yet) it's just a hoax.

Make sure you read all the way to the bottom!


Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some
NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully.
These are a bit more realistic...


1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens
fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain
and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.


2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her
face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on
her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.


3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her
whiskers grow.  Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying
mirror.


4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too -
mu-moos with tummy-support panels are included.


5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet.
Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip
on soft terry mules.


6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and
lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own
line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.


7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is
really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school
megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in
robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes
and fruit punch.


8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs
achange, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor
ordered, along with Prozac.  They're hopping in her new red
Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B.  Includes a
real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."


9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
Ken's car, and Ken's boat.


10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up
with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead
of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings
religiously.  Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a
six-pack of Diet Coke.


11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she
sneezes,forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is
sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube,
clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex.
As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner
Self" is included.


If you forward to 11 people a video comes on your screen. * This
works. I don't know how...but it works, you have to* send this
email to no less than 11 people. Somehow from the return path
generated, you'll receive...something, and it is funny!!!!